Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Waiting to Exhale

Waiting to exhale...it's almost poetic right?

It's been my lifestyle almost this whole month of May. Ok, the WHOLE month. This month has been a whirlwind that I feel like I just turned 28 April 17th, and now here it is June.

I've been holding my breath this whole month, waiting for the next big wave to come crashing down over me, to pull me under the surface, and get caught in the undertow.

The human body can hold it's breath for what, like 3 minutes, 4 if you're really disciplined in practicing? So, for a whole month, no wonder I've been living like I'm dead.

I was excited for a new month to begin as April drew to a close. I was excited to get back to a routine of going to church, going to a young adult life group, getting back to being fit and dancing. But Life had other plans. I didn't Country Line dance a darn day all month, ok, just 1 mid-month, but that wasn't enjoyable. Beginning of the month, I thought I had heartburn, and then after the second day of it I was convinced I was having a heart attack so I went to the doctor, was seen right away for chest pain. Turns out it was an ulcer. Apparently I had been struggling with holding my breath a lot longer than I thought...30 days of meds were prescribed and a no work week.

Just when that was getting under control, a lung attacking beast hit my home. My husband was down with almost pneumonia. I had an upper respiratory infection. Again, meds for 5 days, home sick for half a week.

Finally conquered that and then I catch the common cold. Out for 3 days, and still trying to kick the residual congestion and cough a week later.

Oh and need I mention the allergies? After the wet winter, brought a vegetation filled spring. My allergies were worse than they had been ever.

I joked with people during the "cold" attack, "What's next? Pneumonia?". I still feel like I'm holding my breath, like I'm waiting for the next shoe to drop, the next illness to hit.

But I need to breathe. I need to just let go of the keeping in.

God's. Got. This.

He has me in his hands, he has me right where he needs me to be and he knows the path He has for me. So why am I worried? If I hold my breath I can't catch anything right? Right, but I also wont' live.

Are you waiting to exhale? Are you waiting for the calm?

Just breathe. Literally. You've got nowhere to go but forward, so breathe while you do it. Live while you wait. Live while you're in a rough patch.

I know I will be.

PS, sorry for the lack of posts, going through this sick phase hasn't lent much time to my hobby of blogging. Afterall, you can only do so much while you're laid up trying to help your body fight viruses and bacteria.

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