What it means to be a friend

What if I disappeared for a while?
What if I hid from the social media sphere
and didn't post
and didn't go to events
and didn't have pictures to share.
Would you even care?


What if I didn't answer your call,
your text,
your direct message,
Would you even care?


What if we stopped hanging out?
What if we stopped going out and about?
What if you never hear from me?
Do you even care?


What if I never said Happy Birthday
Happy Thanksgiving
Merry Christmas?
Do you even care?


Do you know my favorite color?
Do you know my worse fear?
Do you know how I feel
when the wind is all I hear?


Do you know my husband's basic story?
Do you know about my pups?
Do you know how I feel
about misplaced lingering cups?


Do you know what holidays I love
and which I like the least?
Do you know how I really feel
about a Thanksgiving family feast?


Do you know what songs I love
to sing in my car aloud?
Do you know what I did
that has made me most proud?


Do you know what I do
when there's nothing to do?
Do you know
that I want to know you too?


Do you know what I keep track of
and what I let fall to the side
Do you know about my writings
my gratitudes, my thoughts inside?


Do you know what I know,
that you're sometimes fake when you speak?
Do you know that I care for you
very much, as high as a mountain peak?


Do you know that when we make plans
and then you don't follow through,
that not only am I said
but my heart breaks for you?


Do you know that when you don't share
those awesome exciting moments in your life
I celebrate for you anyway
whether its the excitement of a baby, or becoming a husband or wife?


Do you know that when you post a picture
but don't send a text
I'll "like" it, but sincerely
unlike some of the rest?


Do you know that when I bring a grievance,
that when I confront you on something you're doing
It's not because I hate you or want to tear you down,
I want to build you up, friendship isn't a state of being.


Do you know, that poetry is a heart's cry?
Do you know I wrote this for you
whether you're a new friend, an old friend,
someone fake or someone true?


Do you know that in a crowd,
I often feel alone?
Do you know that recently,
I no longer have a heart of stone?


Do you know that at work, I often bust my butt,
and often do a lot?
I try to talk and befriend my coworkers
but to do the same to me? They'd rather not.


Do you know that sometimes
I want to talk behind your back?
"Have you heard what (your name here) has done?
Wasn't that awesome and good!" It's not about what you lack.


Don't you know I value you
and the time you give to me?
Don't you know it's love I have,
that I want the world to see?


I wish I could be a talking mirror
so you could see your worth.
I'd crack a few jokes
we'd enjoy healthy mirth.


I'll admit a truth
I've been a cruddy friend.
But I vow to get better
until the very end.


I will fail
but I will keep trying.
Trust me I'll still be there for you
it ain't my bridge you're frying.


So if you wanna try again with me
Let's see where we go.
I'll do my best to be honest and fair
and tell you everything that's true.


And even if you don't,
If you decide to walk away from me.
Know that you're still gold,
Someday that's what I hope you'll see.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

I know Halloween just got over and done with, and by the title, I'm wagering you're cringing in your seat, awaiting the onslaught of Christmas cheer.


Well fear not my friends, for the only Christmas cheer in this post, is simply just a wishlist.

"An online blog post wish list? Really Samantha? Tacky."

Ah, you say tacky, I say convenient, and here's my reasoning why. Year after year, person after person, "What do you want for Christmas?" Rather than repeating myself time after time, or forgetting what I tell who, I figured for everyone's convenience, a list would help everyone out. Besides, years from now, how cool will it be to look back on this and reflect, either on how it was a good choice, or I probably could have asked for something "better" (but c'mon, some of this stuff is pretty rad). 

And of course, as a Type A person: I love lists, so it just makes sense.

So, if you're all ready, here we go.

Samantha's 2016 Christmas Wish List (in no particular order)

• Michael's Gift Cards (Because who doesn't love getting crafty?! Planning supplies, Washi tape, canvases to paint on...ahhhhh)
• Etsy Gift Cards (Stickers for my planner, and other awesome stuff!)
• InkJoy Gel Pens (all black)
• Pair of rain boots (Who knew October could be so rainy!)
• Another Pair of Tieks (no patterns, already own the grey pair, seriously comfortable shoes! LOVE THEM) 
• Ulta gift cards (because Professional Hair Care that actually does something good to your hair other than build up crap is more expensive than the drugstore)
• A nice gym bag because my high school bag is....well its high school)

This list is not complete and final, it's a draft I'll be working on throughout the next month and a half. So in the meantime, I hope you're inspired to create your own Christmas wish list. :)