Time with my sister-in-law has been amazing. She is a
beautiful soul chasing after God’s heart so differently than when I first met
her. But time does that. If you’re passionate about life, you won’t stay the
same. You will be looking to be the next great version of yourself, of who God
created you to be.
When you’re open to change, God uses that to pour into you
the next great lesson. And last night’s aha moment? Nicknames, Pet names and
all the things you call your husband. (Great title for a book right?)
We were talking and then she brought up how some names she
calls her husband in jest, aren’t the greatest. And I then thought of all the
names I call my husband in jest when he may not make the greatest decision, but
we laugh about it right after “Poop face” is one, and some probably aren’t as
PG as I’d like this blog to be. She stated she and I have never done that,
except for maybe once I called her that B word completely joking, we paused,
looked at each other, and I think I apologized. My best friend, Robin, I’ve
never called her any names beside her own. My other bestie, Whitney, she’s
never been called any name but her own. God, I’ve never called Him anything but
his own.
Then God used me to give a message to the both of us: “If
you love and respect God, and these best friends of yours, and to show that you
don’t call them names, why would you call your husbands these names? Do you not
love and respect them that much more?”
Whoa.
Then, in a split second, God brought to mind another topic
recently covered in a women’s get together I go to, to talk Jesus and learn
what else He’s go for us. [Y’know that split second that it all makes sense in
your head and you quickly roll with it, but when you explain it to people, it
seems to take far longer than forever? Yeah that.]
So my other sister-in-law (my husband is one of eight, so
seven siblings, add their spouses…) was talking about how she was counseling a
woman who was bad mouthing her husband in this session, and I believe talking
about how ‘I can’t believe our marriage is crap, why is my husband terrible?’.
My sister-in-law realized that this woman had been tearing down her husband for
their entire 30-ish years of marriage. Rather than adding bricks to her
husband, encouraging him, complimenting him, she was eradicating the bricks
that laid the foundation for her safe place, her comfortzone, Her. Best.
Friend.
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| Picture from a Google search |
My bit from that? Was a bit exactly.
When we call our husbands “Pooper” “Stupid Peacock” “Bad
Llama” we’re pulling pebbles. We’re not yanking out bricks: “You’re lazy and
just sit and play games all day”. We’re not damaging their ego with these
playful pet names. We’re jesting. But the enemy has been pulling these names
back to mind when my husband and I get into the small marital tiffs newlyweds
face and have to hash out. And I caught myself this last time, “My husband is
not a pooper. He’s a great patient man. Why can I only think of him as a poop
face right now?” Because I had spoken him as poopy into existence. I pulled a
pebble out of the foundation.
After I said this, I stopped, and she and I both exhaled, “Whoa”.
Then I raved about how cool God was for him to say that to us because there was
no way that that was from my mortal mind.
So once I got home, I recounted to my husband what I had
learned. I apologized for pulling pebbles when I should be looking to add
bricks. Lo and behold, he apologized too for all the pebbles he pulled that I
hadn’t thought of.
So I’m starting today thinking on how to find those odd
shaped pebbles to fill the nooks and crannies to fully secure our firm
foundation of marriage. I’m conscious of the names I call my husband, this morning
I replied to him calling me “Sexy” by calling him “Stud”, rather than not
accepting his compliment and telling him he was still just waking up and his
eyes weren’t focused. I want to build him up to be a great husband, as Jesus
was for the church.
Amen and Amen <3
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